Royals Review

Remember, remember, the fifth of November ...

A mere 813 days ago, our lives as Royals fans changed forever. In the past 116 weeks, we have been bestowed the opportunity to watch one Christopher Ryan Getz play mistake-free baseball with the deft touch of an angel. His prodigal bag of tools amazes us to this day.

On Nov. 5, 2009, Dayton Moore pulled off a career-defining trade, shipping vagabond Mark Teahan to Chicago for Josh Fields and Chris Getz.

The Royals, without question, won the trade. Mark Teahan, forever trying to sell his Mark Teahan Show to franchises, was recently given up on by the Toronto Blue Jays. Josh Fields, sensing Chris Getz' excellence, has allegedly quit baseball to spread the gospel of Getz. As side work, he signed to infiltrate the Los Angeles Dodgers organization on Jan. 4 as a spy for one GMDM.

Yet Chris Getz continues his assault on the record books. Of note:

• He is already 109th all-time in hits among Royals - only three behind demi-god Eric Hosmer. With luck, we will witness Getz pass such true blue greats as Craig Paquette, Vada Pinson, Terry Shumpert and William Bloomquist this season.
• Getz is 110th all-time in triples among Royals, currently tied with such fleet-footed speedsters as Jose Guillen, Billy Butler and Bob Hamelin. Elite company, indeed.

Others have tried to crush Getz' spirit. Gordon Beckham, in a jealous rage over Getz' popularity and boyish good looks, wrote a derogatory message in the infield dirt this past summer that said "Getz is gay." In typical smoothness, Getz blew off ... er, ignored the controversy of the offensive words of Beckham, saying "We're all just going to try to move on and get some real hits, not Google hits."

Those words rang true, as Getz rattled off 97 hits this past season - many of which even reached the outfield grass.

Early, there were some cynics, as noted in this Royals Review gem. Among the respondents at the time:

Home Run Tony Cogan:

I went and looked at their stats on fangraphs. neither player we’re getting is really much to get excited about.

RoyalsRetro:

I’m all for moving Teahen, but moving a good OBA guy for two guys who can’t get on base seems unwise.

And one AverageGatsby:

at the start of the day my look on baseball was like that of Frodo’s look in the end of the third Lord of the Rings. I just dont see how things will ever get better. Yankees keep spending and keep winning, GMDM keeps getting bad players

As recent as this past season, the prudish masses here at Royals Review voted Getz the most pointless Royal of 2011, which proves to be nothing more than misdirected vitriol. Many Royals Review fans are so self-aggrandizing they have to displace recognizing their own faults by passing them off on others.

As for the realists, we won't soon forget the treasure we inherited on Nov. 5.

Along with the birthdays of Bill Walton, Roy Rogers, Dana Jacobson, Kevin Jonas and Johnny Damon, we will remember the day we getz Getz.

While we celebrate National Fig Week, Banana Pudding Lovers Month and National Georgia Pecan month, we will also bask in the grittiness displayed from one St. Christopher of the Blessed Getz.

Nov. 5 has marked such historical accomplishments as Guy Fawkes being hanged in 1605, Susan B. Anthony being arrested for trying to vote in 1871 and the launch of the Monopoly game in 1935 - but we will look back fondly on this day as the moment our championship dreams became a reality.

Remember, remember, the fifth of November.