Royals Review

And my answers:

I haven’t had any really horrible airport experiences, but when I was three years old, my dad took me to an air show, and I stepped in tar. Oops.

Being the resident Blazers fan here, I want to answer Greg Oden already, but other than that, I can’t help but wonder but Bill Walton might have done.

Probably the bicycle. Its practicality would be obvious and hopefully wouldn’t be too difficult of a sell.

Led Zeppelin – In The Light.

KeepItCopacetic - February 17, 2012 reply

1. Worst airport experience

I “studied” abroad in England one summer. On the way back I didn’t realize Gatwick was so far away from central London so I got to the airport less than an hour before my international flight – only to find out my travel agent (we used to have those) wrote the wrong itenerary and my flight actually left five hours ago. So I had to sit there and hope to get on another flight. There was a very elderly Indian woman who had a ton of luggage who also missed her flight and I could tell she was really struggling so I offered to help her out. The airline woman behind the counter just about jumped over the counter to yell at me. “SIR, DO NOT HELP THAT WOMAN, OR WE WILL HAVE TO SUMMON THE AUTHORITIES.” Because you know, she might have been a terrorist. Anyway, both of us were sitting there all day, with the old lady saying every ten minutes “the gods, they have forsaken us!” or something like that until I finally gave up and got a hotel room.

2. Bo Jackson obviously. Kerry Wood. Yao Ming.

3. The wheel

4. The opening to “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” It pretty much summed up a generation (or at least five years) of music.

RoyalsRetro - February 17, 2012 reply

1. Missing my connecting flight home for Christmas break because there was a Sam Adams bar in the Cincinnati airport and I decided to try all of their offerings, literally. Wait, that was my BEST airport experience…

2. Steve Busby. Bo is a good answer.

3. Cotton gin.

4. I’m not really a big fan of Green Day, but the intro to “Brain Stew” is so stupid simple, yet gets stuck in my head all day, and makes me want to go John Bale on a hotel door.

Tito42 - February 17, 2012 reply

Hmmm...

1) I, surprisingly, have never had a bad airport experience. Never lost luggage, never been late (knock on wood). I’ll sit next to a talker occasionally, but they usually get it when I open my book. Probably flown 10-15 times.

2) RoyalsRetro stole my answer with Bo Jackson and baseball. First name that popped in my head in the first second.

3) The Pet Rock. That guy made a million dollars in the 70s and 80s…

4) Being a K-State grad… Crazy Train. Not because it’s the greatest riff of all eternity, but more my memories and emotions surrouding it.

Royals Medic - February 17, 2012 reply

What is the worst airport experience you’ve ever had that you care to share here?
Flying home from London. I had run myself pretty ragged in Europe. Four countries in two weeks, walking several miles per day, not sleeping much, etc. About an hour before our flight from London back to the states was set to depart, they noticed that one of the engines was broken. The part had to be brought in from another airport and took hours to fix. Our flight ended up being delayed by seven or eight hours – all of that time spent at the Gatwick Airport. We arrived in Charlotte, NC so late that there weren’t really any other flights we could take. They put us up in a pretty nice hotel, but by the time we got through customs, got our luggage, got our new flights for the next day straightened out, took a shuttle to the hotel, waited in line with the hundreds of other people checking into this same hotel, it was incredibly late. We were finally settled in at like 2:00 AM, and had to catch a 6:00 AM shuttle back to the airport. So our delay ended up setting us back about a day, plus lots of annoyance. I would have been down with getting an extra day in London had I known in advance, but not spending that day at the airport.

It could have been worse – they could have discovered that we were down an engine in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean I suppose.

What athlete, who had his career cut short for one reason or another (injury, death, etc.), would you most have liked to see complete it at full ability?
Great question. Steve Prefontaine maybe?

You have been granted the ability to go back in time with any one modern technology or invention, pass it off as if you had invented it, make as much money off it as you can in five years, and come back with all your money, which will then be adjusted for inflation. What do you do?
Tricky question. I mean, if I took an iPhone back to the 1850s it would so advanced that it was obsolete. It would have to be something people would understand the use for and be able to integrate into their lives. Maybe take a toyota Prius into the oil shortage of the 70’s/80’s type time period?

What’s your favorite guitar riff ever?
Purple Haze

trusttheprocess - February 17, 2012 reply

Well well well...

What is the worst airport experience you’ve ever had that you care to share here?
I have not flown very often, so my worst experience was flying from D.C. to KC we had a forty-five minute boarding delay, and after boarding had a one-hour wait on the tarmac before takeoff. That’s all I’ve got. Sorry. I have not flown in over a decade, so I don’t have any TSA experiences post-9/11 or anything.

What athlete, who had his career cut short for one reason or another (injury, death, etc.), would you most have liked to see complete it at full ability?
There are some obvious choices. BoJo immediately comes to mind.
But I will say that for me, hands down, it is Ken Griffey Jr. We could have been talking about the greatest player in baseball history if he hadn’t succumbed to so many injuries.

You have been granted the ability to go back in time with any one modern technology or invention, pass it off as if you had invented it, make as much money off it as you can in five years, and come back with all your money, which will then be adjusted for inflation. What do you do?
I don’t think there is any technology better suited for this than the MSDOS OS. Five years for certain inventions just isn’t enough time. Five years for DOS is remarkably profitable. Not to mention the adjustment for inflation wouldn’t be as stiff, coming back forward only 25-30 years. A close second is the iPod.

What’s your favorite guitar riff ever?
Blue Oyster Cult – Cities On Flame With Rock ’N Roll The whole song is a magical menagerie of guitar riffing.

JKWard - February 17, 2012 reply

Friday!

1. I don’t have any truly awful stories. Had an airline lose my bag once. I was returning to Phoenix from either KC or Minneapolis. Apparently, my bag went to Vegas (because PHX and LAS look very similar). I have this vision of my luggage having an Hangover-esque adventure without me. Anyway, I got it back and nothing was missing or broken, so I guess it worked out O.K. I make extra sure that my bags get correctly tagged at the gate now.

2. Has to be Bo. I still wish that he’d just played baseball.

3. The microchip. Maybe JKWard and I could team up and double down on our profits!

4. I’ll take the classic route and say Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple.

aHorseWithNoName - February 17, 2012 reply

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1. I was flying back from Alaska to Seattle after a summer of salmon fishing. My plane ticket wasn’t for another 3 days, but everyone told me that I could just fly standby without problem, so I collected my paycheck, and caught a taxi to the airport. Turns out that about 100 fishermen had the same idea, and I wouldn’t catch a flight until the next day. Also turns out that the regional airport shut down and locked up at night, meaning I had no place to stay. The two hotels in town were lodges with rooms for about $200 night. I sucked it up and threw down my credit card… only to have it rejected. Turns out that I’d missed a payment on my card while out on a boat in the middle of nowhere, and they’d reduced my spending limit to $10 above my current balance. My checking only had about $120 in it ( $70 of which I’d just spent at the hotel bar) so I was shit outta luck. So, I walked outside, found a bear-safe place in the second floor of a strip mall, unrolled my sleeping bag, and slept outside a gift shop airport. I made it to Anchorage the next day, but couldn’t get my flight moved up, so I spent two nights in Anchorage, with only $50 to my name.

2. I always hear about Roberto Clemente and wish he had a full career. I also wonder if Sidney Crosby might be done.

3. I’ll take the bible back to Jerusalem, and see what happens.

4. I’m gonna go with a bass line – Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed

Loose Seal - February 17, 2012 reply

...

1. Only flown a couple times. I get tanked to deal with it. I love flying, but I hate not knowing what is going on in the cockpit. I worked transportation for 6 years. Jet lag can be highly dangerous.

2. This is the easiest question I have ever been asked: Bo Jackson. No doubt about it. Just because I don’t think he had reached his peak and he was already the biggest athlete at the time.

3. The internet. I would have full control of it and bazillions of dollars. Just like Al Gore.

4. Led Zeppelin “Hot Dog”. Jimmy Page is the king of riffs. Also, I love a lot of Cake riffs, just in case they don’t get mentioned. I get the feeling everyone here loves Cake. Is that a safe assumption?

PhattStairs - February 17, 2012 reply

1) Nothing drastic, flight delay caused a missed connection, spent all damn day in St Louis trying to get to D.C. Ended up missing first day of a conference because of it. Long day.

2) How about Len Bias? Jonny Rodgers kid Terry showed some electric flashes as a RB for the Huskers for a year or two before he torched a knee. I don’t think he had the size to play NFL, but I wonder what he would have done with more time.

3) Back to the Future Biff styled sports almanac route. Or the microchip.

4) Stooges: Search and Destroy. The opening of that song sounds like a power line that has come loose from the pole, and is snapping and whipping around on the ground like a cobra. Plan B would be Howie Gelb, Punishing Sun. Cool, short, reverb drenched riff at the end of that song that saws thru me everytime I hear it. Plan C: I’ll dap up Phatt Stairs and pile on with Jimmy Page. Many, many, choices. How about another one from In Thru the Out Door? In the Evening.

Nighthawk at the Diner - February 17, 2012 reply

1. It didn’t need to be an airport. It could have been a bus depot, it could have been a cab stand. I was seeing her off, and after what we had talked about the night before, I knew I would never see her again. Cue orchestra.

I’ve long since moved on, naturally, but that was a bad airport experience.

2. I wish that Steve Busby hadn’t broken down, but, as we agreed when we discussed him earlier, it’s probable with his mechanics that he would have done so regardless of what actually happened to him in ’75. So exactly what his “full ability” was to enjoy a lengthy career is a topic for debate. If only he could have lasted a couple of more years, I would still have loved to see him healthy in ’76 and ’77.

3. What I’m working on now. I can’t tell you about it. If I were able to take it back in time, your parents would have told you about it already.

4. Johnny B. Goode. Also one of Carl Wilson’s favorites.

2X2L - February 17, 2012 reply

1. So when I was at my previous firm my boss and I had a mediation down in Memphis with this client that was just awful to deal with. We eventually get a deal hammered out with opposing counsel, and make our way to the airport that evening. We check in, get through security, and head down the terminal toward our gate. My boss wants to stop off at a restaurant/bar and have a drink, to which I heartily agreed given the day we just had. Well, one drink turned into two, which concerned me because I thought we might be cutting it kind of close with our departure time. Sure enough, it WAS too close and boarding for our flight…the LAST one back to KC that night…had closed. I’m pissed, but what could I do? We head back out to the ticket counter and get our tickets changed to the first flight out that next morning. We head downstairs to find a hotel and grab a shuttle. We talk and agree (or at least I thought we agreed) to head over to the Radisson which is basically right next to the airport. As we start heading out to catch the shuttle, my boss gets a call on her cell and sits down to start talking. I decide to wait for her outside, standing in line for one of the shuttles, and I miss the first one because she’s still inside. When the 2nd one comes, she’s still talking and still sitting inside, but I catch her attention and let her know the 2nd shuttle is here and I’m getting on it. I still don’t understand why she couldn’t have just gotten on the shuttle while talking, but later found out why she stayed behind (foreshadowing).

I get to the hotel and realize that all I have is my work briefcase/satchel, since I checked my suitcase, and therefore I don’t have any contact solution or a contact case (or my glasses…more foreshadowing). This is a problem because I wear contacts. I have the front desk call me a cab and I have him take me to the nearest CVS to get some contact supplies and a toothbrush. I get back to the hotel and I’m starving (no dinner yet), but the damn hotel restaurant/bar’s kitchen is closed, and there is nothing within walking distance. So I grab a few things from the hotel vending machine, and a few more drinks at the bar, and settle in for the evening in my room. By the time I finish my last drink in the room, I’m pretty sauced. I take my contacts out and try to get some sleep, but the hotel has those absolutely awful “Sleep Number” beds, and I just can’t get comfortable. My “Sleep Number” is 0, as in I would pay 0 dollars for your terrible mattress. Eventually, I nod off.

I wake up the next morning to find out that, in my inebriated state, and with a new, unfamiliar contact case, both contacts had not been sufficiently submerged in the solution. They were basically like two little, dried up, clear raisins. And remember, no glasses. Awesome. I’m basically legally blind without glasses or contacts. Somehow, I make my way back to the airport and my gate, wearing the same suit I was in all day yesterday, essentially unable to make out any detail in anything I see. I sit down at the gate, and before long, my boss comes walking up (which I don’t realize at first because I can’t see shit). She seems fresh as a daisy, which might have something to do with the fact that after she finished her call the night before, she decided she’d trade up from the Radisson to the $%(#ing PEABODY downtown (the historic luxury hotel in Memphis with the ducks). I don’t know what stopped me from strangling her right there.

We got back to KCI and fortunately my suitcase, with my glasses, was waiting for me at Northwest’s baggage claim office. My desperation to get away from my boss and her firm (for a number of other reasons) was suddenly taken up a notch.

2. Answer #1 is obviously Bo. In the Non-Bo category, I would say Marcus Dupree. He’s the former Oklahoma running back that ESPN did one of their 30 for 30’s on.

3. The answer here is also obvious: Facebook. It seems like Google took longer than its first five years to see that kind of growth. I suppose the iPhone would be a fairly distant 2nd. And anything else more industrial, like the internal combustion engine or airplane would just take longer than five years to really start making some money.

4. Sticking with the theme of going back in time to pawn something off as your own invention…how about Marty McFly’s opening to Johnny B. Goode during the Enchantment Under the Sea dance?

Sweep_the_Leg - February 17, 2012 reply

Answers

What is the worst airport experience you’ve ever had that you care to share here?

We were meant to fly from London to Dublin on the day that they arrested the would be terrorists that were heading to Heathrow. We needed to be in Dublin at the very least in three days and had already paid for lodging when it was not something we could have afforded to not use. To make matters worse, Ryanair was saying they could get us on a flight to Dublin by the next Wednesday, two days after our flight back to the US.

Without a smart phone, TSLF and I had to fly blind towards Liverpool—having vaguely remembered having seen on a map once that ferries went from Liverpool to Dublin—hoping we could catch a ferry to Dublin from there. At some rural bus station, I called my friend in London to find the ferry line in Liverpool and hung up hoping that he’d be able to procure tickets for us as our bus was pulling out of the station.

We got into Liverpool at about 5:30, and everything in the fucking town was shut down, so we had to wander towards where we thought the water might be. Eventually we found the water, found a ferry company that was not the ferry company we needed and who had no idea what company we would need to talk to. Knowing the ferry was leaving at 8:00 and running dangerously low on time, we finally stumbled across a hotel and found out that the ferry we needed was on the other side of the goddamn Mersey, a 20-minute drive through a fucking toll tunnel. We got a cab at the hotel, went to an ATM, and pulled out more money than we could possibly use because we were never planning on spending anymore than the handful of pound-notes that we had in our possession. We finally got to the ferry line and found out that our tickets had been procured by my friend in London, something we’d been unable to confirm before going all the way to that ferry line, and caught the overnight ferry to Dublin. White Noise played on the TVs in the poor people area of the ferry.

Fuck terrorists, and fuck Liverpool.

What athlete, who had his career cut short for one reason or another (injury, death, etc.), would you most have liked to see complete it at full ability?

I’m sure I won’t be the only one to say this, but Bo Jackson.

You have been granted the ability to go back in time with any one modern technology or invention, pass it off as if you had invented it, make as much money off it as you can in five years, and come back with all your money, which will then be adjusted for inflation. What do you do?

The Hula Hoop. Even though the origins date back 500 BC, I would steal the plastic incarnation from Richard Knerr and Spud Melin. There was an insane boom and it was just before massive inflation.

What’s your favorite guitar riff ever?

Thin Lizzy “Whiskey in the Jar”

Old Man Duggan - February 17, 2012 reply

without looking...

1) Almost being deported in the Bahamas (while my girlfriend was in transit to meet me there) back to the US. It was a work/vacation visa problem that was sorted out, but it wasn’t that long after 9/11 and they weren’t playing.
2) Joe Delany
3) facebook
4) Jimi Hendrix, “All Along the Watchtower”

setupunchtag - February 17, 2012 reply

1. Fond memories of my arrival to Amsterdam.

2. Drazen Petrovic.

3. How far back do we have to go? If it is awhile ago, I’d go with electricity.

4. Journey “Don’t Stop Believin’”

BeauJackson - February 18, 2012 reply

Gosh, again.

Worst airport experience was O’Hare in 2007. United charged my wife and I for sharing a 74 lb bag (really? seriously, really?) and of course gave no answer to the question to how much of that $50 went to the baggage handler(s) that lifted the bag. Then, of course, sat there in the shitty terminal for about 8 extra hours, while each 30 minutes, the plane was on time according to the previous re-schedule, after getting in about 4 hours late from Ireland. No it didn’t ruin the trip – but won’t fly United again.

Bo Jackson, I won’t try to read the other posts to consider this answer.

I imagine this technology question is meant to test our knowledge of the stock market, but if I could take a technology and go back in history, I’d take an M16 back to say 1943, and enjoy what the next 5 years got me, and then invest that money in Honda/Toyota/Sony/BMW/etc. Obviously, it makes more sense to take an F15 to 1943, but I was trying to think inside the box.

Sepultura’s cover of Sympton of the Universe. Close second is Metallica’s cover of Am I Evil. The latter you have to get to about 1:40 before it hits, but enjoy the beginning portion too. Hell, take anything from Kill Em All.

ChrisCEIT - February 18, 2012 reply

OK

1) I’ve been pretty lucky in airports for the most part, but The first time I traveled after 9/11 though was with my mother to take my Dad’s ashes to Virginia Beach. (We would meet his two later wives there-they all got along) On the way back in the Norfolk airport, a security person decided to pull my mom out of line. She was asked to raise her arms over her head, but could not raise one because of a rotator injury. I went to hold her arm up for her and the security guy said no,got belligerent, refused to call another person to hold her arm up, and started yelling at her. I lost it, got in the security guys face, and it became a big thing. I’m probably lucky not to have been arrested, because I was as mad as I ever get. I think the guy might have lost his job by the time it was over though.

2) Bo Jackson for the awesomeness of watching him, Steve Busby for the possibility of of an earlier World Series championship, Lou Gehrig just to see what his final numbers would be, and to see how long he would’ve played.

3) The first thing I remember that popped up out of nowhere and became quickly ubiquitous was L’eggs pantyhose. They went from not being around to being practically the only way women bought pantyhose in 5 years. There was a L’eggs stand not only in every department store, but every drug and grocery store. Start in 1969, out by 1974, and a whole lot of inflation between now and then.

4) One Guitar Riff? ONE?!! It’s crazy to try and pick one. I would have to agree with Juancho and Dave Davies because he started the hard rock power chord as we know it today. But there are too many riffs to even start mentioning my favorites. I’ll add this note though, for an album of fun guitar riffs, you can’t go wrong with Boston’s debut.

KHAZAD - February 18, 2012 reply

airtravel: On way back from Rome via NY to St. Louis, I apparently took my athsma medicine twice by accident. I don’t have asthma, never did, was misdiagnosed, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, I started shaking, panic attack, etc. Turns out one of the sexy stews was a member of the nat’l asthma assn or somesuch shit and she knew how to treat it.

athlete: Bobby Fischer

invention: velcro. who knew it would catch on?

riff: gonna be a snobby hipster here and say Underdogs of Nipomo by Archers of Loaf

Crooow - February 18, 2012 reply

Whats the worst airport?

I have to think Dulles and Midway are way up there.

RoyalsRetro - February 18, 2012 via mobile reply

1. When I left for my study abroad semester in Germany I flew out of Denver April 1st, there was an hour and a half delay because of ice on the wings… This caused me to land in Frankfurt just as my flight to Dresden was leaving, resulting in a 4 hour layover in Frankfurt, but hey at least I was given 15 Euro to eat on.

2. Bo Jackson, in either sport really.

3. Post its? I dunno most everything I can think of would depend on some sort of software to drive the technology as well. So If I were to take a modern 3D printer into the past, you wouldn’t have the computing power and software to make it work. So it would have to be something of a Mechanical use, so something like Duct Tape, or the Snuggie.

4. Good lord, how does one pick a favorite guitar riff? I guess I’ll go with Santa Monica by Everlcear, purely because it was the first song I ever learned on Guitar, so it hols a special place.

averagegatsby - February 19, 2012 reply

Doesn't anybody

start with “Smoke on the Water” anymore?

KHAZAD - February 19, 2012 reply

Another contender for best guitar riff: Voodoo Child (Slight Return). A good choice for batting music by Moose.

KeepItCopacetic - February 21, 2012 reply