Moneyball was a successful movie by commercial standards, and even portrayed our Kansas City Royals! Unfortunately, the big name actors did not play the Royals. However—2012 is the year. This is OUR TIME. If the Royals do something insane and go on to win a World Series in dramatic fashion, we may just get our own movie. Wouldn’t that be something?
But who would play each of our beloved players? I have done some searching, and come up with these names. What do you think?
Eric Hosmer: Cory Monteith
Monteith, as many of you know, is the main man of Glee. Why should he play Hosmer then? Well, he looks like him, for one. Secondly, I think he would be able to handle a leading part in the midst of an ensemble crowd.
Giavotella: Michael Angarano
Gio was tough. In the end, I picked Angarano, mostly on the basis of Italian-ness of the name. He starred in Nickelodeon film Maniac McGee and has appeared in Will and Grace and 24.
Cain: Anthony Mackie
Mackie began his career in 8 Mile, and was critically acclaimed in The Hurt Locker. I hope the real Cain becomes critically acclaimed.
Salvador Perez: Victor Rasuk
Rasuk seemed like a good fit to play the happy catcher Perez. Honestly not a lot of young famous Hispanic actors out there.
Alex Gordon: Michael Shanks
Shanks is best known for his lead role in Stargate SG1, also appearing in Stargate Atlantis and Stargate Universe. He has also been in Smallville and Burn notice. He looks quite like Gordon, hence the pick.
Jeff Francoeur: Eric Bana
Bearded Bana and Francoeur are even closer. Bana’s resume includes Black Hawk Down, Troy, and Star Trek.
Mike Moustakas: Chris Pine
Pine, best known for Captain Kirk in the Star Trek reboot, fits Moose’s body type pretty well.
Escobar: Michael B. Jordan
This might be a stretch as Jordan is not Hispanic. If anyone else has any better ideas, go ahead and suggest them.
Dayton Moore: George Clooney
I don’t need to introduce Clooney—if you don’t know who he is, that’s bad. If the Royals win big, Clooney’s swagger would lend well to Moore’s character.
Ned Yost: Richard Dean Anderson
RDA, also known as MacGyver and Col. O’Neill, would serve the experienced manager well. He can pull of some anger and lend some humor that might be needed.
4 recs | 104 comments
Jason Kendall
tiquanunderwear - February 19, 2012
I can totally see HWSNBN in a cardigan.
hawkinscm87 - February 19, 2012
I seriously almost passed out laughing at this.
mitchfreakingmaier! - February 19, 2012 via iPhone app
Awesome.
Marco would totally get all sides of Kendall.
Old Man Duggan - February 19, 2012
Maniac Magee Is my favorite book. Excellent story.
Warden11 - February 19, 2012
Where are the pitchers?
You need to of course mention the greatest season Johnathon Sanchez experienced and rookie of the year kelvin herrara. The Most saves in royals history by greg holland and the most complete games in history by felipe paulino. Also Tim Collins would be hard to get because there aren’t many short actors.
Eric Hoz Rulz - February 19, 2012
I didn't do pitchers
Because it would have made for an extremely long post. And would have taken more time.
Yodazilla - February 19, 2012
Zack Greinke
Justin Bieber
RoyalsRetro - February 19, 2012
And I was like
Greinke, Greinke Greinke oh, like Greinke Greinke Greinke nooo!
Yodazilla - February 19, 2012
Peter Dinklage could play Tiny Tim Collins
averagegatsby - February 19, 2012
Why not...
Chris GetzLoose Seal - February 19, 2012
I can contribute two
Bruce Chen:
And Yuniesky Betancourt is the under-achieving guy you can never get rid of and he NEEDS to be Comic Relief. Although there is 0 resemblance to Yu-Bet, I nominate Aziz Ansari:
Royal from Queens - February 19, 2012
YES
dudeustupid - February 19, 2012
I would like to thank you for pointing out Aziz Ansari
I’’ve now been watching all his comedy videos……Funny ass guy
tiquanunderwear - February 19, 2012
I'm assuming you were already watching him on Parks and Rec, right?
Old Man Duggan - February 19, 2012
Sorry
tiquanunderwear - February 19, 2012
Get on that.
Old Man Duggan - February 19, 2012
But would I get the humor?
tiquanunderwear - February 19, 2012
Uhhhh, yes.
Old Man Duggan - February 19, 2012
But for an entry point avoid the six-episode first season.
It doesn’t get good until season two. You can go back and watch season one later if you’re a completist, but it’s not necessary to enjoy season two. Do so henceforth, young sir.
Old Man Duggan - February 19, 2012
I watched one episode of Parks and Rec
And found it profoundly unfunny.
Yes, I know what all you Parks fans are thinking: small sample size.
Yodazilla - February 20, 2012
Give it six episodes in season two. That's roughly two hours of your life.
I have the feeling the tide will turn.
Old Man Duggan - February 21, 2012
I whipped through Season 1 and found it highly enjoyable...
rocking Season 2 now.
My only complaint it that I want way less of Amy Proehler and way, way more of Swanson.
PhattStairs - February 21, 2012
The character of Leslie is extremely poorly conceived in Season One.
They better conceive how to write the character going forward, and she stops being Michael Scott 2.0. It was much needed.
Old Man Duggan - February 21, 2012
Little known fact
Ron Swanson was once a writer for Walker, Texas Ranger.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0841861/
RoyalsRetro - February 22, 2012
THE EYES!
Good god, the Yuni smile is all there. Terrifying.
Official Arrowhead Pride Parade - February 20, 2012
And Tom Sellleck as Trey Hillman
Hanging Brainister - February 19, 2012
This is not 2009.
Thank goodness.
Yodazilla - February 19, 2012
Jim from the office as struggling 2007-2010 Alex Gordon, the movie will need a backstory to the rise of the team
Hanging Brainister - February 19, 2012
Obviously Hochevar
Official Arrowhead Pride Parade - February 20, 2012
Some local KC flavor
Rob Riggle
!
as Jonathan Broxton
Loose Seal - February 19, 2012
Oops
Loose Seal - February 19, 2012
Tim Collins?
RoyalsRetro - February 19, 2012
I said above, but I'll repeat Peter Dinklage
averagegatsby - February 19, 2012
At first I wondered "who's Peter Dinklage"?
And then I refreshed my memory with a quick Google search.
That is fantastic.
Peter Dinklage is awesome and a fantastic character-actor.
Royal from Queens - February 19, 2012
and about he same height
averagegatsby - February 19, 2012
Jason Kendall
RoyalsRetro - February 19, 2012
Not enough arm tats.
averagegatsby - February 19, 2012
@not tough enough either@^infinity
Loose Seal - February 19, 2012
Not enough enough.
BrRoyal - February 19, 2012
that is perfect
Royal from Queens - February 19, 2012
Too young.
Old Man Duggan - February 19, 2012
too intelligent and talented to be Kendall
kansasjohn - February 20, 2012
I think Hosmer looks more like Chris Pratt
aka Andy Dwyer of Parks and Recreation . I guess the only drawback (if you can call it one) is that he played Scott Hatteberg in Moneyball. I think he and Hosmer look a lot alike—the eyebrows, the stubble, and they both have those intense yet vacant stares.
mikewormdog - February 19, 2012
Yeah,
Jesus, that’s spot on.
Old Man Duggan - February 19, 2012
He already has experience playing Scott Hatteberg
Royal from Queens - February 19, 2012
Could we just get Scott Hatteberg to play Hosmer?
averagegatsby - February 20, 2012
Probably not
Yodazilla - February 20, 2012
Nice work.
Yodazilla - February 20, 2012
Initial reaction: You've watched way too much Stargate.
Old Man Duggan - February 19, 2012
This is true.
But I think Shanks does look like Gordon, and Anderson is a very good actor.
Yodazilla - February 20, 2012
I spent much of my life in Minnesota, and have a soft spot for all things non-sports related from said state.
As much as I would like RDA to have been a good actor, I can not jump on that train to crazy town.
Old Man Duggan - February 21, 2012
...
PhattStairs - February 19, 2012
I totally chuckled audibly.
Old Man Duggan - February 19, 2012
Two for flinching!!!
PhattStairs - February 19, 2012
Spot on good sir. SPOT ON!
MarioVanPeebles Republic of China - February 20, 2012
Good Lord!
Which one is the real Billy?
Black and Gold - February 20, 2012
Oh my goodness.
I was about to scold you losers for not throwing out a Butler/Fat Jonah Hill suggestion. How I’ve underestimated thee.
Nighthawk at the Diner - February 20, 2012
Teach me how to Duffy
Official Arrowhead Pride Parade - February 20, 2012
One of my favorite lesser known actors.
Mostly because I will always remember him as that character in Saving Private Ryan
hawkinscm87 - February 20, 2012
He's more of a home run hitter
Since he played Roger Maris in *61.
RoyalsRetro - February 20, 2012
I will always remember him for Battlefield Earth.
What a gem.
Old Man Duggan - February 21, 2012
Sanchez needs to grow a stache and we're there
Official Arrowhead Pride Parade - February 20, 2012
Jack Harry
Official Arrowhead Pride Parade - February 20, 2012
I think we are all clearly missing Billy Butler's #1 visual comp
JKWard - February 20, 2012
That's challenging the bounds of exaggeration and humor.
hawkinscm87 - February 20, 2012
I think you mean
“Prince Fielder’s number 1 comp”
Yodazilla - February 20, 2012
In this scenario, he would be the big fat bad guy
You are correct sir.
JKWard - February 20, 2012
If Anthony Shanks can get into the best shape of his life.
then a little more, the part is his.
(ps – but probably not.)
dejezeus - February 20, 2012
Also Starring
As Mitch Maier
George Eads
The plot could revolve around th case of the missing batting cage jock strap.
KC_Satchmo - February 20, 2012
Awesome
mitchfreakingmaier! - February 20, 2012
Jeremy Jeffress
RoyalsRetro - February 20, 2012
Not Cheese...
He really dicked over Prop Joe.
Old Man Duggan - February 21, 2012
Rooster Cogburn as Jason Kendall
ExRoyalsFan - February 20, 2012
Haha!
Just watched that movie a couple weeks ago.
hawkinscm87 - February 20, 2012
OT
If I see a video of that god damned squirrel running across home at Busch. I will fly with my dad on his next business trip to St. Louis and personally burn down the Arch.
tiquanunderwear - February 20, 2012
If you get caught, you need to understand that we will say we don't know who you are.
hawkinscm87 - February 20, 2012
I'm glad you're at that age where we should easily be able to peer pressure you...
DO IT!
mitchfreakingmaier! - February 20, 2012
Hosmer = Josh Helman
aka “Chuckler”, from HBO’s The Pacific
ElChupanibre - February 20, 2012
ElChupanibre - February 20, 2012
Allard Baird
Yodazilla - February 20, 2012
That's David Glass my friend
RoyalsRetro - February 20, 2012
Nope, Glass is Hank Azaria
with the same makeup artist that he had on “The Smurfs”:
Sweep_the_Leg - February 20, 2012
Ben Esler as Chris Getz
focs - February 20, 2012
Geoff Stults as Aaron Crow
focs - February 20, 2012
WOW
Nailed it.
RoyalsRetro - February 20, 2012
I know!
It popped into my head and I couldn’t believe the resemblance
focs - February 20, 2012
We totally need one of these for every year of Royals existence.
PhattStairs - February 20, 2012
I feel like we kicked Grantland's ass on this one.
PhattStairs - February 20, 2012
Duh.
So much green on this post. Wonderful.
Yodazilla - February 20, 2012
I was thinking about doing a post on if Royals were characters from the movie Major League
averagegatsby - February 20, 2012
Someone should tweet this to Jazayerli
Or some other Royals dude. See if can go viral.
Yodazilla - February 20, 2012
Willie Wilson could be fittingly played by Tyrone Biggums
Kim DeJesus - February 20, 2012
Luke Hochevar
Kim DeJesus - February 20, 2012
Damn
tiquanunderwear - February 20, 2012
Chris Pine is way too pretty for Moustakas
but now that I think about it, I’m okay with that.
Gross(est) - February 20, 2012
Also, Anthony Mackie made "We Are Marshall"
He was amazing, therefore I support anything that provides him with work. This thing has a budget, right?
Gross(est) - February 20, 2012
dustfan - February 21, 2012
YES
And fat Ethan Suplee can play Billy Butler.
RoyalsRetro - February 21, 2012
dustfan - February 21, 2012
Collins would be played by this Timberlake …
Not this one …
dustfan - February 21, 2012
Brayan Pena
RoyalsRetro - February 21, 2012
Yuni Betancourt = Steve Harris
RoyalsRetro - February 21, 2012
If only Steve Harris wasn't 8'10"...
Old Man Duggan - February 21, 2012
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